UNCANNY ACTION.Coming soon, for a different system -- an unrelated game exploiting a different licensed property belonging to the same company!
X-Men fans! Now the fantastic gang of heroes... Wolverine, Cyclops, Nightcrawler, Storm, Colossus, Ice Man ... are at your command to save the entire human race. As Professor Xavier, you must choose the right X-Men to complete your colossal mission -- to stop the evil mutants. For uncanny and explosive Nintendo action and strategy, X marks the spot!
Friday, August 31, 2012
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
PS, thanks for helping me achieve 1000 views to this improbable blog! I don't do it because I expect anyone else to care, I do it because I care! Your attention is just the icing on the cake. More comments are always welcome, however! They're quite few and far between. Of course, gamers and comics fans being what they are, I suppose every reply is redolent with holy war potential.
(A final note unrelated -- my blog here, consisting of scans from my archives, has inspired my partner to launch a blog of her own, of scans from HER archives. But while my archives are the very dudely long boxes of comix, hers are of '70s radical and revolutionary broadsheets. I like to say that hers is like mine, only about something real and important. Though it is proving, post for post, to be far more popular than my blog here, nonetheless I will give it a little plug here: you can find it at radicalhistories.wordpress.com)
Typically they are marketed lazily: you liked last year's version, so you'll like this year's also. And so, though I have scanned many of them, I haven't gotten areound to posting them yet, for lack of much to say about them. This ad is an exception, from the psychedelic '90s, a basketball game ad seemingly torn from the pre-millennial pages of Wired:
Some people go to extremes to play NBA Action 98. They should. In this game, you're up again guys who'd like nothing better than to pound your puny torso into the court. We're talking every NBA player, every NBA team, all 29 Arenas. Team specific plays. Behind the back passes. Alley oops. It's all here. Chick Hearn even calls the plays. NBA Action 98. See how you measure up."Go to extremes"? I see what you're doing there, '90s. It is an impressive early Photoshop job Dr. Funkenstein has achieved in the back of his literally crooked office. I appreciate the detail of the line-up of customers waiting out front, and wish my scanner had picked up the small print on top of the doorframe (and will Stretch fit through? Just how tall is he?)
Of course, extra height won't actually help your performance in most video games.
Thanks! This post should push this weird little blog past a thousand pageviews, which isn't bad considering that the only place I actively promote its posts is on the empty Google+. I figure long-tail search engine traffic will eventually appreciate these scans and the commentary. With an infant held in one arm while typing this post one-handed, its update schedule will necessarily remain sporadic into the foreseeable future, but I still have a lot of scans to go through.
And if you are a current reader, you've already demonstrated an interest in video games and I encourage you to support the otherwise-unrelated the Indiegogo campaign for Deirdra Kiai's musical stop-motion adventure game Dominique Pamplemousse in its final few days.
Monday, August 27, 2012
Calling it "the most anticipated game of all time" might be somewhat of an overstatement (clearly, that was ToeJam & Earl 3, right? Just kidding -- accounting for compound interest, that would of course be Cliff Johnson's The Fool And His Money.) But the bold claim does raise eyebrows and make skeptics wonder just what it is bringing to the table.
Best of all, we get it in patented Lord British-style Selective Olde Englishhe. "Forsooth! Mine electronic diversion doth mop the floor with thine competition! Eateth mine shorts, Station of Play!" By all accounts, this was a winning game on a losing platform, hence perhaps the emphasis on the console rather than any salient details about the game (beyond its being in 3D, which at the time was somewhat of a given -- unfortunately, as the graphical sophistication made more extensive use of the consoles' extended hardware capabilities, justifying them to a certain extent, even in games in genres which were in no way improved by the trip to the third dimension.) Announcing a Zelda game "coming to" a Nintendo platform is admittedly redundant, since they will never again repeat the mistake they made with the Philips CD-i. In a sense, then, what this ad is really saying is: Nintendo 64 -- if you like to play Zelda games, you will have to come here to do it. Nintendo is admittedly sitting on a pretty formidable IP library, however uncommon it is for them to dig deep into it beyond each generation's installment of Super Smash Bros... because their cute and charming IP is not of great use in a time when the measure of a game is the realism of its headshots or the polymorphic perversity of its NPC relationships.
Potatoes of couch.The most anticipated game of all time cometh to Nintendo 64. Use thy wits in 360 degrees. Or be torn to bits in 360 degrees
Prepare ye for a mashing.
Zelda. Have ye what it takes?
Ah, but I digress (lookit that paragraph! do I ever!), which is my cue to set this post aside and move along.
Sunday, August 26, 2012
INTENSEIf the illustrations tell me that the game is too ugly to portray in screenshot form (ironically, by the team who would later capture the eyes and imaginations of all and sundry with the CD-ROM hit the 7th Guest!), the prose tells me that the person in charge of the ad hasn't actually played the game either. Really, I have some concern that at press time, the game didn't actually exist in any form yet, and they just ran the ad to measure fan interest in seeing such a title developed.
12 LEVELS OF PLAY!
RIDING AN AWESOME WAVE OF 3 MEGA FIREPOWER!
The non-stop action of this high-energy, inter-galactic battle game will challenge all of your combat skills. With 12 levels of outrageous game play, amazing graphics, music and radical sound effects, it's the hottest game in the galaxy!
I like how they run out of adjectives -- "outrageous" game play, "amazing" graphics, "radical" sound effects... but the music, well, it's just kind of "meh", you know? I also question the editorial decision of slipping into surfer superlatives just because the silver gentleman in question happens to surf -- it likely has more to do with four green fellows who were making a big splash at the time. Just as well the music wasn't praised as "tubular", though who knows -- there are some great C64 SID conversions of Mike Oldfield's Tubular Bells!
Ah, but I digress. And speaking of digression -- "3 mega firepower"?
Friday, August 17, 2012
IT'S TIME FORTypically being released for three consoles isn't an explicit selling point -- it tells you "instead of focusing on making the game great on one platform, we allocated resources to finding a lowest common denominator on three." And then they cut more corners by selling all three with the same ad!
SOME NEW HEROES
It's Sonic Heroes, the all new game with an all new way to play. A revolutionary team-based system will have you switching characters on the fly. Twelve different heroes, four different teams and three different consoles make for one new game that never gets old.
In any case, in 2003, Sonic wasn't exactly a fresh new flavour of hero. (Nor unknown to comics himself -- Archie published a long-running Sonic series.... speaking of milieus in desperate need of a breath of fresh air! All right, let's be fair -- when's the last time anyone in the Sonic universe had a gay marriage?)
(Final note: isn't it uncanny the way those extreme new heroes have mouths twisted into Nike swooshes?)
Saturday, August 4, 2012
This is all pure speculation, as I would never call such numbers. I know that there were some schemes such as I describe, such as Steve Jackson's F.I.S.T., but from the looks of things this one was more of a trivia-by-phone game. I can't speak to its precise gameplay details, but gee whiz, that's a lot of small print!
Audio games aren't video games, but they share a lot of territory (that liminal "computer game" intertidal zone: if you can make a phone maze, you can make a game.) And of course, unlike most "video" games, these ones could be played by the deaf! (somewhat expensively...)