Sunday, September 23, 2012

"Kya: Dark Lineage", PlayStation 2, 2003.

The game might be fun (I played it and found some pleasant surprises, a rarity in the played-out 3D action-adventure genre), but the marketers are acting as though they didn't have much to work with.  Admittedly the visual design suggests a philosophy devoid of nuances and grey areas.
A whole LOTTA HURT
in a BELLY SHIRT
Fight evil creatures
Master magical powers
Soar to new heights
So, to reiterate:
* As you can see, like Tomb Raider, our game also features an attractive (well, bizarrely elongated) female protagonist whose underaged midriff you can enjoy watching for the entirety of the game.
* Unlike other games, where innocents are indiscriminately brutalized for amoral pleasure, we testify that there is a rigorous ethical framework rationalising the use of violence in our game.
* Our protagonist will be demonstrating some extraordinary talents in an escapist fashion.
* One of these talents includes use of the z-axis in our simulated 3-dimensional space.