Monday, November 27, 2017

"A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure" part 13, 1982.

The year: 1982. The product: Dungeons & Dragons. The advertising medium: comic books. TSR began illustrating the accounts of one party's campaign, then abruptly cut it off and began recounting a second. Not satisfied with their work, they also pulled the plug on the second and here we see them set the scene for a third and final comic book advertising campaign:
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
ADVENTURES
"Quest Through The Savage Country"

SCENE: DEAD JACKAL INN

BEAUTIFUL SORCERESS: ARE YOU SURE THE ONE WE SEEK WILL BE HERE?

SHADRAK: TRUST ME.

S: "THERE HE IS! RORY GALLAN."

S: "HE'S THE BEST PATHFINDER THAT YOUR MONEY CAN BUY!"

RORY: THERE YOU ARE YOU THIEVING GNOME!!

R: SO SHADRAK MY LITTLE FRIEND. I TRUST YOU ARE HERE TO PAY ME BACK THE COINS YOU ... BORROWED?!

S: WELL.. UM... NOT EXACTLY RANGER GALLAN. BUT EVEN BETTER THAN THAT I'VE LOCATED A JOB FOR YOU! THIS LADY HERE IS THE APPRENTICE OF THE FAMED WIZARD KHELLEK. SHE WANTS TO HIRE YOU TO TAKE HER ACROSS THE SAVAGE COUNTRY! I TOLD HER THAT NO ONE LIVING KNOWS THOSE LANDS LIKE YOU DO... OLD FRIEND.

B: IT IS TRUE THAT I WISH TO HIRE THE RANGER GALLAN. BUT I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED TWO SWORDS. HAVE YOU ANOTHER IN MIND, LITTLE ONE?

S: I SURE DO M'LADY... ME!

R: YOU!?

S: QUIET GALLAN! HERE FINISH YOUR DRINK.

S: M'LADY, I COULD NEVER HAVE BECOME THE COUNTRY'S GREATEST THIEF IF I COULDN'T HANDLE WEAPONS AS WELL AS ANY FIGHTER!

MSSR. GALLAN, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. MY MASTER'S OTHER PUPIL HAS TURNED EVIL AND ESCAPED WITH MYSTIC OBJECTS OF GREAT POWER! IF HE IS TO BE STOPPED, IT MUST BE SOON! YOU ARE WELL KNOWN BY YOUR HEROIC DEEDS. IF YOU AGREE, THEN THE GNOME WILL BE MY SECOND SWORD. YOUR TASK IS TO GUIDE ME SAFELY ACROSS THE SAVAGE COUNTRY WHERE WICKED MORGAN HAS FLED!!

S: WHAT DO YOU SAY RORY? MY SHARE OF THE PAY WILL NICELY COVER WHAT I OWE YOU.

NEXT: FEAR OF FLYING!

Mostly I am just posting these for completeness' sakes, to see the story through, such as it is, and be the only one to provide search-engine-findable transcripts of the inane word bubbles. What do we learn here? Not much of interest: this is the first of the three stories to begin in the heart of that fantasy cliche, assembling the party at a tavern. When the name Khellek comes up, our ears perk up, as he was the wizard in the previous advertisement's party -- building a narrative bridge between otherwise seemingly unrelated ads. Most of the previous advertisement comics have focused on fearsome monsters and amazing magic, while this one is primarily concerned with a thief's bluff. (Equal time for the different player classes? Conspicuously, not only have none of the comic-ads focused on clerics, none of the parties have even contained one! Adventure strategy: plan to never be injured or encounter undead.) This ad ends explicitly on a to-be-continued, so stay tuned, long-tail readers: there's only one more installment in this series, then this blog will most likely enter a period of long, yea indefinite, silence!

Thursday, November 16, 2017

"A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure" part 12, 1982.

Through comic book pages of 1982, sometimes the main attraction was interrupted by alternate comic strips, selling the Dungeons & Dragons role-playing game by telling the kind of stories, briefly, that such gameplay sessions were concerned by. This is the last in a set of four, to be succeeded by one final micro story arc. Transcript follows:
THE WIZARD KHELLEK'S MAGICAL POWERS HAVE DISINTEGRATED THE MONSTROUS PURPLE WORM! THE TREASURE ROOM OF ROAKIRE IS REVEALED TO THEM. AURIC LEADS OUR ADVENTURERS IN THEIR TREACHEROUS CLIMB TO THE SURFACE!

AURIC: "DAYLIGHT! WE'VE MADE IT!!"

KHELLEK EXAMINES THE ANCIENT SCROLLS TAKEN FROM THE ROAKIRE TREASURE ROOM.

KHELLEK: "THE SEARCH IS OVER MY FRIENDS! BUT MY WORK IS JUST BEGINNING. THESE SPELLS WILL AID IN DEFEATING THE EVIL THAT LAYS SIEGE TO MY LORD'S CASTLE!"

K: "THE SUCCESS IS NOT AS SWEET WITH OUR PARTING."

TIRRA: "PARTING KHELLEK? YOU'LL BE NEEDING TWO GOOD SWORDS..."

A: "... WITH YOUR HOMELAND UNDER SIEGE!"

THE END

Odyssey aside, it is extraordinary to present the emergency from the dungeon -- the voyage home -- as a perilous and arduous undertaking. You have cleared out the mobs, there's nothing interfering with your return! But it looks like they're taking some species of short cut. Pity we never get to see the disintegrate spell in action, but I guess that's how they guarantee the most dazzling presentation of magic: the reader's brain provides the VFX.

Auric? Would some player really name their avaricious character after gold? Every chapter of these comics needs to present some nasties for lurid appeal, only here they merely represent what lies ahead for the party, not anything they actually encountering. Really this is much ado about an irrelevant plot twist (the party break up? why, are they not a regular party? no canon has been brought up to suggest otherwise...) turning the first "The End" of the ad series into a "To Be Continued?" (SPOILER WARNING: it is not continued. The castle of Khellek's Lord never is relieved from its evil siege.)

That is all. Enjoy, only a couple of these remain -- and then, perhaps, this blog can enjoy its final, well-earned rest 8)

Thursday, November 9, 2017

"A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure" part 11, 1982.

Another month, another D&D comic book ad in the sequence whose meagre contents I transcribe for the benefit of posterity. (Huh, turns out I wasn't the only person blogging this series, but I am the only to provide transcripts. Incidentally, three episodes in, I've figured out what the difference is between this party and the previous, the answer staring me plainly in the face: this party is playing ADVANCED Dungeons & Dragons!) Last time, the sequence was monsters, then treasure, this time inverted. Now, here we go:
A DUNGEONS & DRAGONS(r) ADVENTURE

THE THREE ADVENTURERS ARE IN THE TREASURE VAULTS OF THE DUNGEON ROAKIRE. AURIC THE FIGHTER HAS FOUND A SUIT OF ENCHANTED ARMOR, TIRRA A MAGIC CLOAK WHILE THE WIZARD KHELLEK INVESTIGATES SEVERAL SCROLLS AND ARCANE ITEMS.

A: (... FITS LIKE IT WAS MADE FOR ME!)
T: THAT'S ODD... ... THERE IS A LOW RUMBLING NOISE COMING THROUGH THE WALLS AND THE FLOOR!
K: THE WHOLE ROOM IS SHAKING!

T: THERE'S SOMETHING COMING RIGHT UP THROUGH THE FLOOR!
ARRAUUUGGHH!
A: A PURPLE WORM! IT'S ENORMOUS!
K: STAND BACK! ONLY MY MAGIC CAN STOP IT!

EXPLORE EXCITING WORLDS OF FUN FANTASY & ADVENTURE WITH DUNGEONS & DRAGONS AND ADVANCED DUNGEONS & DRAGONS ADVENTURE GAMES. SEND IN YOUR COUPON TODAY FOR YOUR FREE CATALOG OF GAMES & ACCESSORIES. SEND TO: TSR HOBBIES, INC, POB 756 DEPT. 170-77E, LAKE GENEVA, WI 53147.

IN THE UK SEND TO: TSR HOBBIES (UK) LTD, THE MILL, RATHMORE RD., CAMBRIDGE, ENGLAND CB1 4AD.

From a Beholder last time to a Purple Worm here, there's really not much room for progression remaining. What's next, a tarrasque?