Monday, November 27, 2017

"A Dungeons & Dragons Adventure" part 13, 1982.

The year: 1982. The product: Dungeons & Dragons. The advertising medium: comic books. TSR began illustrating the accounts of one party's campaign, then abruptly cut it off and began recounting a second. Not satisfied with their work, they also pulled the plug on the second and here we see them set the scene for a third and final comic book advertising campaign:
DUNGEONS & DRAGONS
ADVENTURES
"Quest Through The Savage Country"

SCENE: DEAD JACKAL INN

BEAUTIFUL SORCERESS: ARE YOU SURE THE ONE WE SEEK WILL BE HERE?

SHADRAK: TRUST ME.

S: "THERE HE IS! RORY GALLAN."

S: "HE'S THE BEST PATHFINDER THAT YOUR MONEY CAN BUY!"

RORY: THERE YOU ARE YOU THIEVING GNOME!!

R: SO SHADRAK MY LITTLE FRIEND. I TRUST YOU ARE HERE TO PAY ME BACK THE COINS YOU ... BORROWED?!

S: WELL.. UM... NOT EXACTLY RANGER GALLAN. BUT EVEN BETTER THAN THAT I'VE LOCATED A JOB FOR YOU! THIS LADY HERE IS THE APPRENTICE OF THE FAMED WIZARD KHELLEK. SHE WANTS TO HIRE YOU TO TAKE HER ACROSS THE SAVAGE COUNTRY! I TOLD HER THAT NO ONE LIVING KNOWS THOSE LANDS LIKE YOU DO... OLD FRIEND.

B: IT IS TRUE THAT I WISH TO HIRE THE RANGER GALLAN. BUT I SPECIFICALLY REQUESTED TWO SWORDS. HAVE YOU ANOTHER IN MIND, LITTLE ONE?

S: I SURE DO M'LADY... ME!

R: YOU!?

S: QUIET GALLAN! HERE FINISH YOUR DRINK.

S: M'LADY, I COULD NEVER HAVE BECOME THE COUNTRY'S GREATEST THIEF IF I COULDN'T HANDLE WEAPONS AS WELL AS ANY FIGHTER!

MSSR. GALLAN, TIME IS OF THE ESSENCE. MY MASTER'S OTHER PUPIL HAS TURNED EVIL AND ESCAPED WITH MYSTIC OBJECTS OF GREAT POWER! IF HE IS TO BE STOPPED, IT MUST BE SOON! YOU ARE WELL KNOWN BY YOUR HEROIC DEEDS. IF YOU AGREE, THEN THE GNOME WILL BE MY SECOND SWORD. YOUR TASK IS TO GUIDE ME SAFELY ACROSS THE SAVAGE COUNTRY WHERE WICKED MORGAN HAS FLED!!

S: WHAT DO YOU SAY RORY? MY SHARE OF THE PAY WILL NICELY COVER WHAT I OWE YOU.

NEXT: FEAR OF FLYING!

Mostly I am just posting these for completeness' sakes, to see the story through, such as it is, and be the only one to provide search-engine-findable transcripts of the inane word bubbles. What do we learn here? Not much of interest: this is the first of the three stories to begin in the heart of that fantasy cliche, assembling the party at a tavern. When the name Khellek comes up, our ears perk up, as he was the wizard in the previous advertisement's party -- building a narrative bridge between otherwise seemingly unrelated ads. Most of the previous advertisement comics have focused on fearsome monsters and amazing magic, while this one is primarily concerned with a thief's bluff. (Equal time for the different player classes? Conspicuously, not only have none of the comic-ads focused on clerics, none of the parties have even contained one! Adventure strategy: plan to never be injured or encounter undead.) This ad ends explicitly on a to-be-continued, so stay tuned, long-tail readers: there's only one more installment in this series, then this blog will most likely enter a period of long, yea indefinite, silence!

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