Sunday, February 24, 2013

Sega IR 7000, 1994.

It's nice to see Sega getting back into the hardware business.
IR 7000
GET   THE   MESSAGE

WHISPERING
IS
FOR
GUTLESS
WEASELS.

MEET ME AT MY HOUSE AT 3:30!
Send messages up to thirty feet away, safe and private-like.
BP: 32700
Play the Brain Drain game against the computer, or with a friend.
SALLY ROSS 867-5309 151 Nugent
Record your friends' numbers and create faces to match.
MAR/7/1994 MON 10:00pm BASEBALL RICK'S HOUSE
Organize every minute of your day, or at least the important ones.
Whispering's pathetic. Exactly why Sega made the IR 7000, with fourteen different features. So you can communicate with your friends in class without making a sound, via its invisible infra-red beam. You can even play a game with someone across the room. Plus, the IR 7000 keeps numbers, addresses, has weekly and monthly calendars, speaks ten languages, and more. So check out SEGA's IR 7000. Unless, of course, you like to whisper. Yeah, right.
SEGA
Who is this product really being marketed to? How many kids in the '90s had a burning need for an electronic Rolodex? I read a review of this product that noted how it would beep every time a button was pressed, making communicating with friends in class somewhat less than soundless. (Also noted there: the ad's layout is identical to another Sega ad for Snatcher.)
Don't get me wrong: it is nice to see Spinnaker's Facemaker technology being revived. I'm sure the bundled Brain Drain game is much better than anything Tiger ever manufactured, especially to the kind of person who's likely to have scheduled a baseball game for 10 pm at night. And, who knows, perhaps I will harbour a deeper appreciation for the 14 features if you only mention less than half of them in your ad. I need this product because I am not a gutless weasel. This ad speaks sarcasm just like me, because I am a teenager! That twist-of-the-knife ending, "Yeah, right." Just a step away from the epic hipness of Wayne World's "NOT!"
In short, if Sega published their own version of Star Tropics for one of their machines, this would be the robot piloting the mini-sub.