Saturday, March 16, 2013

Gear Up, Game Gear, 1993

A publisher listing unrelated products in the same ad, a tale as old as time. But at a casual glance, what this ad says is: "What a team!" To be sure, the disparate franchises making appearances here in this ad make it look like Acclaim (sorry, sorry -- Flying Edge or, as Matthew would put it -- [Acclaim]) is promoting a Marvel vs. Capcom style Super Smash Bros.-type mash-up, which they're not... but it would be a great idea! MUGEN: we actually shelled out for the licensed characters! And, y'know what, if Dark Horse could do it with comics, why couldn't the game publishers pull it off? And the mind gets to wander -- if Macho Man Randy Savage, Spider-Man and the Terminator were on a team, who would assume what role? Which one is the tank, the healer, the scout? (Well, Arnie is obviously #1, and Spidey is obviously #2, and Randy... makes a poor fit for #2, but has it thrust upon him anyway. Then I tried to look up a vaguely-remembered clip of him deep-frying a Mars Bar on Martha Stewart, and learn that he died in 2011! Where were the armchair eulogists of Twitter then?)

GEAR UP!

THE RAGE IN THE CAGE, THE WAR OF THE WEBS AND THE BATTLE OF THE MACHINES!

WWF WrestleMania Steel Cage Challenge
ACTION SO INTENSE, ONLY 15 FEET OF STEEL CAN CONTAIN IT!
IN AND OUT OF THE RING MAYHEM!

Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six
UNPLUG ELECTRO WITH WEB-SWINGING ACTION!
BATTLE DR. OCTOPUS' ARMY OF ARMS!

Terminator 2: Judgment Day DESTROY CYBERDYNE RESEARCH!
HASTA LA VISTA, BABY!

For more portable power, check out the bodyslamming excitement of WWF WrestleMania Steel Cage Challenge, the amazing web-swinging action of Spider-Man: Return of the Sinister Six, and the explosive firepower of Terminator 2: Judgment Day. Gear up for great graphics and game play with the biggest superstars on Game Gear!

Looking at these screenshots, it's hard to believe that the Game Boy had a longer production life than the Game Gear. (And don't get me started on the Lynx!) Of course, the critical factor was that the Game Boy had a longer battery life, substantially, than these greedier and beefier handheld consoles.

Anyhow, not much else to say about this ad. "15 feet of steel"? Ugh. "Unplug Electro"? In which socket is he connected? "Army of arms"? You're being redundant. And of course they didn't need to come up with a quip for T2, it came jam-packed with its own.

I do like the small print:

ENDOSKELETON and Depiction of ENDOSKELETON are trademarks of Carolco Pictures Inc. Computer game (c) 1993 Acclaim Entertainment, Inc.
... and we will assert these trademarks regardless of whether the phrase or depiction of ENDOSKELETON appear anywhere in this ad or not.