Wednesday, October 3, 2012

"Lethal Enforcers 2: Gun Fighters", 1994.

This weekend I'm missing a function near and dear to my heart, named in part after one expansionist Horace Greeley, and so this ad struck a tender nerve. Lethal Enforcers 1 might have sucked all the life out of the contemporary police rail shooter, but Mad Dog McCree apparently left a few stones unturned, leaving the Old West ripe for another light gun visitation.

GO WEST, YOUNG MAN


AND BLOW AWAY ANYTHING THAT MOVES

In the Old West, gun fighters let their guns do the talkin'. Now you can pack one that just won't shut up. Lethal Enforcers II: Gun Fighters. It's all the gun blazin' action of the smash hit arcade game, fired up for your SEGA Genesis and SEGA CD.

For true lead spewing fun, go out and lasso the Justifier.

Blast your way through five lightning fast levels. Aim for the heart to drop scum in their tracks. Draw your six-shooter and serve up some hot lead to ruthless bank robbers. Grab your Gatling gun and flush out a gang of grubby banditos.

And, if you're still standin', empty your shotgun into an evil shaman and his band of creepy, skeletal ghouls. Never mind the stench, son.

So reach for your guns and see if you got what it takes to make Deputy, Sheriff or U.S. Marshall. But watch yourself, pardner. 'Cause you'll need a sharp eye and a quick trigger finger to dodge all them flaming arrows, cannonballs, skulls, tomahawks and powder kegs those crusty varmints are a-throwin' your way. And mind the innocent townfolk and Holsteins. Shooting them will cost you. Let the bullets fly and the bodies fall in Konami's Lethal Enforcers II: Gun Fighters. One false move and the buzzards won't be goin' hungry tonight.

Also available on Sega CD.

Hey gringo, don't bring shame upon your good family name. Only a dork would mess around with real guns. Remember, it's just a video game.

The Justifier isn't an in-game bonus, it was Konami's own make and model of light gun.

It's interesting (no, really, not just to me!) that the ability to lose the game by shooting noncombatants is being pitched as a selling point here, being a staple of the western shooter at least since Accolade's 1985 Law of the West. OK, so not much exposition today! Yes, shaky '90s typography. Yes, abysmal eXtreme depiction of racist ultra-violence (the cow and lady are obviously the wrong targets, the redskin savage obviously a correct one). Yes, charming pseudo-cowboy-ese that may as well be delivered by Sam Elliot. This one must have been more fun -- or at least less chunky, if not entirely /un/-chunky -- on the Sega CD.